I have been playing Magic: The Gathering since I was 13. I said it! In a safety deposit box, in an undisclosed location, I have safely and secretly stored away the entire Power 9(unlimited), along with every dual land, four workshops and a handful of other treasures, like Beta Hippies and Beta Sinkholes. Enough proof? Ok.

But sadly over the years, for a variety of reasons, I haven’t been able to get myself to a deck and relive those fond memories of competing. And although MTGO can get me my fix every so often…it’s not enough. You don’t have that valuable social aspect of the game, especially since you cant really talk shit, and it makes casual players entirely too hard up on the rules. Ruins the vibe of casual game. So when i get back to town and get some time with the boys we actually play a variety magic brain battle games. Mental Magic is past time, but my personal favorite is creating balanced, yet powerful Magic cards that reflect celebrities, friends, fictional characters, what have you.
Hours of drinking and arguing have resulted in this season’s list. Feel free to add new cards to the list in the comments or help make them stronger, or more balanced.
Damn that girl is smoking hot! If she was a Magic card she would cost 5 white mana! and would never tap to attack!
Kriss Kringle
WG3
Planeswalker
Starting Loyalty: 4
+1:Commune with Nature
-2:Enlighten tutor
-4:Congregate for creatures, artifacts and enchantments
Lucy the Destroyer(my dog)
RR
Legendary – Beast
Haste, First Strike
Jackal Pup’s fallback
3/2
Superman
3WWUU
Legendary – Citizen/Hero
Indestructible
Flying, Vigilance
Flash, Split Second
4/5
Lex Luthor
BBW
Legendary – Vampire
Comes into play, enlightened tutor
BB: Sacrifice artifact or enchantment target player loses 2 life and you gain 2 life
2/2
“Very Interesting”
Friend of mine that will remain nameless
BBG
Legendary – Human Rogue
Comes into play – Rampant Growth
Sacrifice – Target Creature gets -2/-2 and target creature gets +2/+2
3/3
Ultimate BBBBB Creature
Landwalk
Sacrifice: Day of Judgment
5/5
The Dude
1WG
Starting Loyalty: 2
+1: Rampant Growth
-1: You cannot be attacked until your next turn
-4: Search target player’s library for an artifact or creature and put it into play under your control
“What is it to abide?”
Wolverine
1GGG
Legendary
Haste
Provoke
Indestructible
5/3
“Hey, Bubb”